ManAlive News Feb 2004
From the ManAlive Men’s Centre 11 Edmonton Rd Henderson . ph 835 0509
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We’re back and into the New Year with vigour, enthusiasm and bubbling with creative ideas. We have so many ideas that our fine leader, Alan has developed a new role for himself, “The Rock”. Yup he is busy anchoring and grounding us, keeping the ship on an even keel, tracking our star and making sure we don’t run out of fuel. The bit about the fuel is an insiders joke… oh ok ok, we’ll tell you. Last month we went on a fishing trip (team building … no no honestly!) had a wonderful time, caught the largest kingfish anyone had ever seen, we’re sure it was an escapee from some genetic modification programme to do with whale genes. On our way back the boat, um…ran out of gas. Would six men in a boat call for help? No of course not! We paddled for over an hour to the nearest gas station, finally arriving home, bronzed and rippling with muscles we never knew we had. One of our womenfolk renamed us Man Adrift, cruel and unfair! So life is good and continues to pop round the corner offering those tasty little surprises. Yep it is good to be a man, good to be alive and hey its still summer.
Go well friend.
Not Sons – Daughters!!!
Editorial By Alan Blackburn (CEO ManAlive)
Men often focus on sons and boys as the important relationship. This as also has been a focus of ManAlive. Men have said to us: “You just seem interested in boys, and yet I have daughters. What are you going to do about that relationship”?
We have taken this on board and have explored with women the importance of the Father and Daughter relationship. Many have told us that their father had a profound effect on their life. The relationship with their Dad affected their view of themselves; the types of men they choose to share their life with and their own parenting. Daughters have told us they have a profound interest in knowing more about their Dads, seeing sides of them they do not see, hearing their father say I love you, rather than trying just to show it through some other behaviours.
From this research we have developed a short programme called “Raising Daughters – for Fathers”, to be held later in the year. To also celebrate the Father and Daughter relationship we are holding our first Father/Daughter Camp to be held in April. (see below for details)
Get Away With Dad – Father and Daughter Camp
Camp Bentzon, Kawau Island, 12th to 15th April
Sometimes it is important for fathers and Daughters to have a special time. To see a side of each other that you don’t normally see or share, have conversations you don’t normally have. A time to talk, have fun times together, share feelings and aspirations or …just hang out together.
The camp starts at 6.30 pm 12th April (Easter Monday) with a ferry ride from the Sandspit to Kawau and returning at 1.00 pm on the 15th April (during the School Holidays). The age limit for Daughters is 10 years or over. There is no age limit for Dads and it could include Grand Dads or uncles.
The cost is $260 for 2; this includes food, accommodation and ferry.
Next Step a course for men
Next Step is a course that will help men broaden their sense of the masculine and deepen their experience of manhood. Suitable for men who may have completed an anger management group, done some counselling work, or who just want to explore how rich the territory of manhood is.
Course themes include: What is manhood? Relationships, Masculinity, Fathering, Sex, love, intimacy and spirit. Much of what we did in Great Dads is now incorporated into Next Step, fathering and fathers is such a crucial part of the male experience we will spend plenty of time on this.
The last course, run in Oct last year, was a deep, rich and rewarding experience for the men on it.
Here are some comments from those men;
“it blew me away !” “I have found this group very informative and I learnt heaps, thank you very much”. The facilitator was ... “a great communicator” , “not afraid to put himself on the line “, “excellent, very clever and straight up”.
All this in a safe, trusting environment in weekly 3hr facilitated group sessions run for 8 weeks.
The current course (starting Feb 25) is filling fast so be quick, next one will be in May.
Cost $65.00 for the 8 week course.
Bookings or more info: Ph Chris 835 0509 or richard@manalive.org.nz
Stories from the Big Buddy files
This 6 yr old suffered greatly at the hands of his father and mother, both violent, both addicts now in prison. He is now raised by his Grandmother who struggles with his other siblings. Tim’s background may have caused his autistic tendencies, he would cower when ever a man entered the room, would cry every Christmas because no father would come for him. On first meeting his Big Buddy he ran to him, grabbed his leg and said “are you for me?”, a profoundly moving moment for the Big Buddy.
After months of outings with his Big Buddy he is a very happy boy, sings and whistles at home, “I have never heard him do that before” said his Grandmother. His Big Buddy discovered he loves mechanical things and now collects old toasters, clocks etc for Tim to dismantle on the weekend. His Big Buddy is continually astounded at the small simple things that make him the happy boy he is today.
Father and Son - Journey to the Cave
The Journey to the Cave is a chance for fathers and sons to head for the hills - the Waitakere Ranges that is - and stay overnight in a West Coast cave. It's a primal experience aimed at modelling positive male community and culture through storytelling and food preparation. The next Journey to the Cave is: Saturday 27-28 th March, Fee $125.00 (total for father and son). Ph 835 0509 for bookings.
Essentially Men
Essentially Men is a groundbreaking weekend workshop that has been helping men transform themselves for the past 12 years. At ManAlive we are proud to be in partnership with such a lively brother organisation and encourage our staff and clients to attend the workshop as a powerful personal and professional development experience.
Essentially Men is a powerful complement to one on one counselling and psychotherapy but it has something more, something we can only call Magic, perhaps best described by a recent participant “An experience of such wonder, magic and power that it almost defies description."
We admire their website, a good resource with warmth and depth but don’t take our word for it have a look at www.essentiallymen.net
The next workshop is March 12th - 14th 2004
Enquiries, phone 09 627 9827 to talk with Rex or Steve, or email essentiallymen@clear.net.nz.
Pathways Programme
Presented as a partnership between ManAlive and Essentially Men.
An inner and outer adventure to prepare boys for the journey of young adulthood, this is a rites of passage event for young men aged 13 - 15 to attend with a significant male from their life. Five days camping in a remote setting north of Auckland. Next one this year April - 16 - 21
Phone 09 627 9827 for a brochure. our www.essentiallymen.net for more.
Co Counselling training March 27 - 31 2004
with Rex McCann and Maggie Caitlin
Co Counselling is a self and peer tool that increases your effectiveness at working competently with emotions and is a useful skills training for anyone working with people.
Next training is March 27 - 31 2004
Phone 09 627 9827 email rex.m@clear.net, or see www.essentiallymen.net for more.
For the sisters: Celebrating Women Workshop (Maggie Caitlin)
For women wanting to learn more about themselves & find purpose & passion in their lives.
Next workshop this year April 23-25
Ph 09 627-9827, or email maggiecaitlin@clear.net.nz, or
On-going ManAlive Services
Bookings or appointments: Ph Chris 835 0509 or info@manalive.org.nz
Counselling and Life Coaching, for men, by men
Fees are negotiable.
Living Without Violence (Anger Management)
The course is 20 weeks and you can choose a Mon, Tues or Thursday night. Phone us for start dates. Cost $320 payable over a number of weeks with a discount if paid in full at start of programme.
Programmes in Henderson (including our Maori programme), Glen Innes and a Migrant/refugee programme Otahuhu.
For more on what we do and the services we offer check out our web site, especially the What’s On section. www.manalive.org.nz
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On the end and off the edge thoughts
Let it sing (with thanks to Mark Morford)
So then there's those times when the traffic is light and the weather is clear perfect sunshine and the music is loud groove bliss and the window is cracked and your butt is squirming and your head feels light and the world feels effortless and seamless and somehow just and beautiful and fluid and ethereal, and your cynical side knows it won't last and knows the world is full of impossible atrocities and unspeakable savagery and yet you also seem to realize that it's all a phantasmagorical prism and a simple issue of perspective and you can immerse in bleakness and white noise and watch your soul wince and shrink, or you can suck down heaping doses of light-trafficked sunlit butt-squirming music and admire the astounding array of multiple realities available to your giddy anima. Well you just go right ahead and let your soul sing and shine out bright; the darkness around us is deep.