From the ManAlive Men’s Centre 11 Edmonton Rd Henderson. Ph 835 0509
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Hey it’s April already! Where’s the year gone, where’s summer gone? Autumn is slowly but surely slipping into the cold of winter. Kind of sobering to realise that aside from all the ups and downs of being human, nature just keeps on rolling along in its big rhythms, the sun, the moon, the seasons all faithfully moving around and through us. Caught in this big rhythm what else can we do but celebrate the fact we are alive and living in extraordinary times.
Go well friend.
We are making a significant shift in our youth programmes. Responding to the growing demand for boys aged 14-16 years in difficulty at school, acting out, bullying or struggling with the transition from youth to manhood, we have designed, Youth to Men, an 8-week programme focused around a group enquiry into three essential questions.
“Who am I?”
“Where am I going?”
“Who is coming with me?”
Through positive male role modelling, story craft, mythology and shared experience the teenage youth experience positive relationship and a sense of community. They learn the importance of respectful communications, clear boundaries, positive relationship and autonomy. Becoming aware of how and why they do what they do, developing conflict resolution skills, responsibility and a sense of consequence. The group builds a sense of identity, worth and belonging. Outside of this group the service is broadened with the addition of one to one counselling, Family Therapy and follow ups as needed.
The programme has already been piloted in a number of schools with great success and is available at ManAlive or within interested schools.
Immigrant and Refugee Youth
We are running a parallel programme for immigrant and refugee youth having difficulty adapting to a new country and culture, who may also carry the burden of non-expressed trauma. Using similar methods to Youth to Men they are helped to find safe and appropriate ways of understanding their migration and how best to adjust to living in New Zealand. By broadening their choices we help them to better integrate into their schools and wider communities. One of our Facilitators is of Iranian and Indian heritage, bringing significant cultural and personal experience to the programme.
For more information on Youth to Men and the Immigrant and Youth programme contact
Ron 835-0509 ext 812 or Steve 835-0509 ext 804.
A
research project for separated fathers.
Rosemary Lyons, a Doctoral student
of the University
of Auckland
is conducting a research project called Non-Custodial Fathers' Experiences of
Parenting. Rosemary is training as a clinical psychologist and her research will
add to the current literature that examines how men can be supported in their
role as fathers. She is looking for non-custodial fathers who are willing
to take part in this research. The research is in two parts: an anonymous
questionnaire, which takes about 50 mins to complete; and for a smaller number
of volunteers, an interview about their experiences of being non-custodial
fathers.
If you would like to consider taking part please, contact Rosemary on rosemary.lyons@xtra.co.nz
The Law Commission has released a discussion paper on the laws that allocate parenthood and are seeking feedback. Of interest to men and fathers are:
The legal presumption of paternity - whether it should be retained and, if so, whether it should be extended to unmarried fathers. The processes for registering fathers on children’s birth certificates.
Processes for proving and disproving paternity. Parental status agreements. Ways parenthood should be allocated in cases of sperm donation.
It emphasises children getting a full record of their birth origins and the adults in the child’s life having a clear legal framework that clarifies their responsibilities and roles with the child.
Public submissions are needed by 24 May 2004.
The paper can be down loaded at www.lawcom.govt.nz
Next Step is a course that will help men broaden their sense of the masculine and deepen their experience of manhood. Suitable for men who may have done some counselling work, or who just want to explore how rich the territory of manhood is.
Course themes include: What is manhood? Relationships, Masculinity, Fathering, Sex, love, intimacy and spirit. These courses have been a deep, rich and rewarding experience for the men on it.
Here are some comments from those men;
“It blew me away !” “I have found this group very informative and I learnt heaps, thank you very much”. The facilitator was ... “a great communicator” , “not afraid to put himself on the line “, “excellent, very clever and straight up”.
All this in a safe, trusting environment in weekly 3hr facilitated group sessions run for 8 weeks.
Next one will be in May 5.
Cost $65.00 for the 8 week course.
Bookings or more info: Ph Chris 835 0509 or richard@manalive.org.nz
Matthew came from a troubled background and was being treated for severe anxiety problems when matched with his Big Buddy 4 years ago. For the first 2 years of this mentoring relationship his life was going from strength to strength until his older brother committed suicide triggering his mother into a nervous breakdown. During this trauma Matthew was strongly supported by his Big Buddy. Even now Matthews’s mother struggles to find the words to express her gratitude for this help.
The dedicated commitment of Matthew’s Big Buddy to this relationship has been crucial in helping Matthew find a growing self confidence. Matthew is now passionate about learning music and both he and his Big Buddy say “this is for life”.
* Names changed to protect individual privacy
The Journey to the Cave is a chance for fathers and sons to head for the hills - the Waitakere Ranges that is - and stay overnight in a West Coast cave. It's a primal experience aimed at modelling positive male community and culture through storytelling and food preparation. The next Journey to the Cave is: Saturday 19-20 th June, Fee $125.00 (total for father and son). Ph 835 0509 for bookings.
Essentially Men is a powerful complement to one on one counselling and psychotherapy but it has something more, something we can only call Magic, perhaps best described by a recent participant “An experience of such wonder, magic and power that it almost defies description."
We admire their website, a good resource with warmth and depth but don’t take our word for it have a look at www.essentiallymen.net
The next workshop is May 28th - 30th 2004
Enquiries, phone 09 627 9827 to talk with Rex or Steve, or email essentiallymen@clear.net.nz.
For the sisters: Celebrating Women Workshop (Maggie Caitlin)
Special Gym Deal.
If you looking for a Gym that is affordable, has good equipment and an Aerobics programme, the AMPT Gym in Henderson is offering a great deal for men and women if they mentioned they have been referred by ManAlive. The deal is a very reasonable $399 per year. A boutique Gym in Trading Place Henderson, AMPT is very quiet place for a pleasant work out.
For more info phone Tom McGill on 838 8620, and say ManAlive sent you.
Bookings or appointments: Ph Chris 835 0509 or info@manalive.org.nz
Counselling and Life Coaching, for men, by men
Fees are negotiable.
Living Without Violence (Anger Management)
The course is 20 weeks and you can choose a Mon, Tues or Thursday night. Phone us for start dates. Cost $320 payable over a number of weeks with a discount if paid in full at start of programme.
Programmes in Henderson (including our Maori programme), Glen Innes and a Migrant/refugee programme Otahuhu.
For more on what we do and the services we offer check out our web site especially the What’s On section. www.manalive.org.nz
Is there a person or organisation you think would be interested in receiving this newsletter?
Point them to www.manalive.org.nz/contact.htm , where they can subscribe.
Let it out
OK here is what you do: You stand up and spread your arms wide and close your eyes and tune your senses inward and take a deep breath and begin to shake your hands loosely like frantic butterflies, and then let it move into your arms until they're waving like manic rubbery vines and then that motion travels into your shoulders and down your chest and into your pelvis and right down to your knees and feet and toes and then shooting like a bolt right up into your head until you are standing there all convulsing and twitching and up gurgles this sound from deep in your throat, a gasp, a gurgle, a yelp of whateverthehellitis you need to let go of, right now, that thing that clings, that thing that's been stuck deep in your being like a leech on your id, and out it tumbles and down you collapse into a glorious quivering heap, a delighted invigorated exhausted hunk of mushy buzzing being ness.
Let it out, let it all out, the darkness around us is deep.